Friday, February 8, 2013


Everyone always becomes enchanted by your character. Throughout your life people continued baffle you when they gave their undying trust and admiration. Your kindness and positive attitude would reflect out to the world creating an aura of bliss surrounding you that everyone wanted to be a part of. Likewise, you were strong and independent. No one stood a chance against your sharp wit. Or most people would be too caught up in your adorable tendencies to ever fight you.

After all this time, all this people, you remain blind to your own inner beauty that everyone so deeply loved. Never did you suspect that people would flock to you or avoid you out of sheer intimation. No. Never. In your eyes you were the girl who was average. very bland and, oh-so usual. You just assumed all of those flocking people were just so very nice. Most of them seemed to be only there to host a pity party in your honor. Maybe that's why they all followed you: Because you were a commodity. Someone just the same as all the rest.

I was thinking about this life. Throughout this reality I have always wanted to progress past my current state and become something truly enchanting. I dress the way I do as a way to live out my childish fantasies. My greatest desire was to transform the world into a fairytale. By using combinations of different clothing I could become any creature, princess, hero, fairy, I have ever dreamed about. But at the end of the day, my clothing comes off, my hair becomes entangled in clips, and I crawl into bed to restart another day in which I will build up an outfit that leaves me with butterflies and the slightest blush.

 However, some nights sleep does not come quickly and I lay awake spiraling within my mind contemplating this reality and what my future will provide. I begin to feel a chill within my very core; a silent panic washes over me as I feel the emptiness in my heart as it all becomes too apparent. What I have come to realize in the end is that all this magic I feel originates from woven thread; cleverly woven thread. Why can't I grow my wings and fly? Why does my adventure not begin? Why must we work to survive in a world where survival comes easily?
I just want to fly away.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Details of My Plague Rat Costume: Constructed in Under Two Days

For those of you who do not know, I have been an Emilie Autumn fan since I was 13. After three incredible performances with another one quickly approaching, I began planning my costume the week I purchased my tickets. However, the weekend before the concert I began putting together the completed costume and I was completely mortified by the overall unorganized and uncoordinated mess I had created. (the feather bustle did not help.) 

As a result, I scraped the original concept and began looking at each and every costume Emilie Autumn and her bloody crumpets wore for inspiration. I decided if I was comfortable dressing up as a bubble gum big bird I might as well be the preferred animal of the Asylum and opted for a Plague Rat since, at the time, Emilie was auctioning off her original Rat Costume. (one of my personal favorite costumes I might add!)

Now of course, three days before the show, I don't believe I realized how absolutely fucked I was. But, nevertheless, if there is one thing I do well it's working under pressure! After much consideration (a day and a trip to the craft store to be exact), I decided to try and combine Veronica's costume and add lavender in order to make the different shades of gray pop! Here's the outcome: 
The corset needs much more detail but I hand sewed every bead and little gem myself. I'm going to continue to work on this piece until Animazement. 

Now the bra and bustle with the corset. I didn't put much detail in the bra. 
(I won't lie, doesn't look half bad without the corset!)

My mom helped me sew the Swag Bustle on top of the layers of fabric and tulle I had already sewn on. She even showed me how to make fabric roses! I'm going to decorate the fuck out of this skirt as soon as I get some more time on my hands at this week. 

I have a long list of details I need to add in order to make this costume truely complete but in under two days I believe I out did myself compared to last year. I can't help but to imagine what this set will look like once I finish it!

(this is my MERRR face, i tried to show off my glittery lips but to no avail.)