Writings

2-8-13

Everyone always becomes enchanted by your character. Throughout your life people continued baffle you when they gave their undying trust and admiration. Your kindness and positive attitude would reflect out to the world creating an aura of bliss surrounding you that everyone wanted to be a part of. Likewise, you were strong and independent. No one stood a chance against your sharp wit. Or most people would be too caught up in your adorable tendencies to ever fight you.

After all this time, all this people, you remain blind to your own inner beauty that everyone so deeply loved. Never did you suspect that people would flock to you or avoid you out of sheer intimation. No. Never. In your eyes you were the girl who was average. very bland and, oh-so usual. You just assumed all of those flocking people were just so very nice. Most of them seemed to be only there to host a pity party in your honor. Maybe that's why they all followed you: Because you were a commodity. Someone just the same as all the rest.

1-29-13

I was thinking about this life. Throughout this reality I have always wanted to progress past my current state and become something truly enchanting. I dress the way I do as a way to live out my childish fantasies. My greatest desire was to transform the world into a fairytale. By using combinations of different clothing I could become any creature, princess, hero, fairy, I have ever dreamed about. But at the end of the day, my clothing comes off, my hair becomes entangled in clips, and I crawl into bed to restart another day in which I will build up an outfit that leaves me with butterflies and the slightest blush.

 However, some nights sleep does not come quickly and I lay awake spiraling within my mind contemplating this reality and what my future will provide. I begin to feel a chill within my very core; a silent panic washes over me as I feel the emptiness in my heart as it all becomes too apparent. What I have come to realize in the end is that all this magic I feel originates from woven thread; cleverly woven thread. Why can't I grow my wings and fly? Why does my adventure not begin? Why must we work to survive in a world where survival comes easily?
I just want to fly away.